Written September 5, 2016
“Acceptance is the answer to ALL my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation – some fact of my life – unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being EXACTLY the way it is supposed to be at this moment.” ~ Anonymous
Just so nobody gets mixed up on the definition of acceptance, as a friend of mine says, let’s get out the dictionary. Acceptance has 3 different yet similar meanings; 1) the act of taking something that is offered, 2) the act of accepting with approval; favorable reception, 3) a disposition to tolerate or accept people or situations. Today I’d like to share on the third definition, a disposition to tolerate or accept people or situations.
I’ve been told if I’m upset about something that I’m probably having a hard time accepting it. As I think about why I’m irritated today I realized what I’m not accepting. Life. I’m not accepting of how my life currently is – aka life on life’s terms. For a number of years after I hurt my back I was pissed off because I couldn’t work. Part of my decision to not work was because it was to difficult physically and mentally. Some days the pain was so bad it affected my thinking. I resented myself for leaving the workforce and the decisions I made that led to the injury. I even resented my Higher Power for not answering my prayers for healing. At the time I didn’t want to accept my reality. I didn’t want to accept that even tho the injury was an accident, not listening to my doctor’s advise and taking it easy made the injury worse. I didn’t want to accept that I was disabled at an early age. Least of all, I didn’t want to accept that I would feel pain for the rest of my life.
Today I have finally come to accept all of that including the bad decisions I made. I’ve even come to accept that my Higher Power guided me to and thru everything that happened for a reason. Maybe it was a way to set the gears in motion to remove certain people from my life so that new people could come in. It could’ve even been to teach me what I needed so that I’d be able to help others in a different way than I had before all of this. It could’ve even been to prepare me for what I am going thru now.
I have kind of domino thing going on. I have 3 or 4 issues going on that are causing a great deal of stress. Normally when I’m faced with a bunch of things I can fix one thing at a time. It didn’t matter what order I fixed things. Right now I have to fix Problem A before I can resolve Problems B and C. Sadly, I’ve run out of ideas and this affects me mentally and spiritually. I have days that I don’t want to get out of bed let alone go out to do errands or socialize with my friends? Forget that!
As I write this, it dawned on me that the way I feel today is how I felt when I hurt my back. Angry and depressed because I have little to no control over what’s going on. What I forgot that what I can do is accept what is going on, pray to my Higher Power and accept that He has His reasons and a plan for me. I need to remember to do a gratitude list when life gets to hard. I also need to remember that this too shall pass. When I do this, I begin to feel better and acceptance becomes a little easier and my problems don’t seem quite so bad.