Bella on Thinking Before You Speak 

Written November 10, 2016

“If you proposed to speak, always ask yourself, is it true, is it necessary, is it kind?” ~Buddha or Unknown

This quote boils down to 4 simple words that seem to be the hardest to do. Think before you speak. Once our words leave our mouths we cannot take them back. When we fight with or dislike someone, we almost instantly throw around derogatory words, lies, untruths, gossip, and insults about the other person.

Some people can let this type of stuff roll off their back like water on a duck’s back. Sometimes it causes the recipient to fire back with the same type of words. For others, tho, quite the opposite happens. Some people end up internalizing those words and it hurts them deeply. Perhaps they end up believing those words.

When someone internalizes these words, it can lead that person to do self harming activities. Addiction to drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex, shopping, and the list goes on.

A very long time ago, I had gotten what I thought was a very in-style pair of pants for my birthday so I wore them to school. On my walk home from the bus stop the first time I wore them, a mean girl who lived down the street from me was walking behind me. She was yelling some pretty mean and nasty things about me. Those words felt like daggers hitting my backside and I never wore those pants again.

Years later I’d hoped that kind of stuff would end. I was wrong. It felt like I was in junior high school all over again but now it was different people with bigger, nastier weapons. I admit, I am no angel when it comes to my mouth. I’ve learned over the years to hold those words the best I can, especially when it comes to gossip.

In the last few years I’ve had rumors and untruths said about me. Instead of firing back something about those people, I let my character speak for itself. Even if I know some character damaging information about the other person I say nothing. Why? For two simple reasons.

The first reason is simple. If I fire back am I not continuing the vicious cycle of anger and hate? I was taught a number of years ago by 2 women in my circle that if you continue to put gasoline on a fire it continues to burn. Stop putting gasoline(saying nasty things) and you take the fuel out of the fire(the fight).

Also if I stay silent my character, the way I live my life, will speak for itself. If I stoop to the other person’s level and that can make me look as bad if not worse than the other person.

Thought for the day: When “stuff” is said about you, you do not have to fire back with more insults. Let your character and how you live your life speak for itself. Achieving world peace begins with you and me.

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