​“If Today Was Your Last Day…”

Written December 16, 2016

What would you do if you were diagnosed with a terminal illness and you were given a certain amount of time to live? Would you make a bucket list(a list of things you want to do before you die) and try to do everything on it? Would you hole up in your home by yourself until the day you die? Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last? Leave old pictures in the past? Donate every dime you have? Would you call old friends you never see? Reminisce old memories? Would you forgive your enemies? Would you find that one you’re dreamin’ of?

Or would you…well, I think you know.

I’ve known a few people who have been diagnosed with and died from terminal illness. The first one I knew was my grandfather who had liver cancer. I’m not sure what he did in his final days but I remember a couple times on summer vacation I rode my bike about 4 -5 miles from my house to his so I could visit with him. I still, nearly 30 yrs later, vividly remember the day he past away.

Another person I knew moped around a bit. He and I weren’t terribly close but we did have a bond. This person had metastasized brain cancer. At one point this person had been working on planning a trip but passed away before going. A group of us carried out the trip and sprinkled some ashes in a couple places there. I still remember the night that person took their life.

I worked in healthcare for many years. During those years, especially at my last job, I became close with a number of individuals who passed away from terminal illness. For some their terminal illness was old age. I was always told not to get attached to the people I was caring for but it’s hard not to. When those people I cared for passed away, it tugged on a heart string or two .

In my younger years I never thought I’d see 30 years old, but I’ve surpassed that by a couple(wink, wink) years. For much of my life I’ve been afraid to die. I guess it was that fear of the unknown and fear that I’ll be buried alive(I blame all the horror movies I watched over the years). I’ve changed my mind sometime in the last few years. I guess it happened sometime after my second drug addiction relapse. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to die. I’m just not afraid to die. Even tho middle age is just around the corner and I may have many years left, if I did die today I know that I’ve lived a pretty full life. I’ve loved, I’ve lost, I’ve had my heart broken once or twice, I’ve experienced a lot and met many people from all walks of life. Yes, I still have unfinished business and no I haven’t experienced everything but it’s ok. After turning 30yrs old, I had a the thought in the back of my mind I was going to live forever.

Something I guess I forgot to mention. I have been dealing with an illness that I was originally told was in my head – by more than one doctor. I am finally seeing a another doctor out of town who came highly recommended. I have had countless tubes of blood drawn with no real answers. I even have the doctor baffled. That is until now. As I write this I am beginning to get test results from my latest round of blood work and they may be pointing to something serious. It’s ok tho. At least I could finally put a name on what’s caused my body so much grief. I have no real ties to keep me here. That’s not to say I don’t have people I care about and who care about me. Hey, I’m a single woman with no child and no real strong bond with the family left except for a couple of them. As I said in the paragraph before, I’ve lived a pretty full life. I’ve loved, I’ve lost, I’ve had my heart broken once or twice, I’ve experienced a lot and met many people from all walks of life.

My best friend and I love to go on road trips as long as we have a few dollars. We both also LOVE music and we share the latest hits that come out with each other. One day day, she introduced me to this song by Nickelback and I fell in love with it. The 2nd verse describes me, or at least how I strive to live – against the grain. There are all kinds of songs like this but to me this one really makes you think what if today is your last day? Tomorrow never really is promised for any of us.  Our Higher Power decides when to call us home. Is it always fair when he does that? No, not always but He has His reasons.

We hear things like, “Lord willing…” or “I could have a heart attack/get hit by by a bus tomorrow….” Truth is that these statements are very true. None of us ever knows what tomorrow may bring. Instead of moping and complaining about, live each day to its fullest, laugh your heart out, love like there’s no tomorrow, and tell the ones you love how you feel. Life is to short to live otherwise.

“If Today Was Your Last Day…”

By Nickelback

My best friend gave me the best advice
He said each day’s a gift and not a given right
Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind
And try to take the path less traveled by
That first step you take is the longest stride

[Chorus]

If today was your last day
And tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
If today was your last day
(If today was your last day)

Against the grain should be a way of life
What’s worth the prize is always worth the fight
Every second counts ’cause there’s no second try
So live like you’ll never live it twice
Don’t take the free ride in your own life

[Chorus]
If today was your last day
And tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
Would you call old friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories
Would you forgive your enemies?
Would you find that one you’re dreamin’ of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you finally fall in love
If today was your last day

If today was your last day
Would you make your mark by mending a broken heart?
You know it’s never too late to shoot for the stars
Regardless of who you are
So do whatever it takes
Cause you can’t rewind a moment in this life
Let nothin’ stand in your way
Cause the hands of time are never on your side

[Chorus]

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