Bella’s Thoughts About People Pleasing

Written January 23, 2014(edited 2017)

“You don’t have to try to be somebody new, or better, or different. Just recognize that you already are somebody perfect. Then, just be who you are.~ Doug 

Something to consider:

I can remember back when I was in school. I was pretty popular with everyone. I didn’t have to impress my friends and life was pretty good. Then came high school. From the day I hit those big doors everything I knew changed. There were the preps, the jocks, the smart kids & of course the losers. Those were basically the ones who didn’t fit anywhere. My friends from elementary school pretty much dispersed into any one of those groups. Then there was me. I didn’t really fit anywhere plus I’d get picked on by somebody for something I wasn’t. I tried being smart, when that didn’t feel right. I tried to fit in other areas only to not really succeed anywhere.

After graduation I discovered the real world where things weren’t much better. I still got picked on for not being, acting or thinking a certain way but now people gossiped about me. I tried for years to find where I fit in changing my skin like a chameleon depending on who I was with. No matter what I tried, I never really and truly felt right in my own skin. My turning point came when I was faced with an unexpected and somewhat messy divorce and taking care of my mom. I finally had an epiphany.

All my life, in all I did, I was doing or being a certain way to please others hoping they would accept me. I finally realized, at that point, I could rewrite my life, living it the way I WANTED to. I didn’t have to fit into some little mold for people to like me. I’d opened my teary eyes to notice that I had friends who liked, actually loved, me for who I was inside and out and for all I stood for plus my quirky weirdness. Matter of fact, my boyfriend who was a friend for a few years before he’d noticed the change in me – the moment when I was working on changing my attitude to be the authentic Stephanie he sees today.

Today I’m working on being comfortable in this brand new skin and it feels pretty darn good. When I notice myself starting to act or be a certain way to fit in, I snap myself back, if no one else tells me so first. Today I can look in the mirror and accept myself for who I am – warts and all. Self acceptance. That’s what it’s all about. 


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