Forgive the Past

Written February 22, 2017

“What’s past is past, nothing can change that. But the future can be different if we choose to make it so. We have to cultivate a vision of a happier, more peaceful future and make the effort now to bring it about. This is no time for complacency, hope lies in the action we take.” ~Dalai Lama

I am no stranger to having a less than ideal past. I zigged when I should’ve zagged and caused my loved ones a bit of grief. Yes, I’m referring to my addiction. I was a self centered, selfish, lying, conniving, manipulative and temperamental bitch. I’ve come to realize this when I finally got into a program of recovery. I realized the path of destruction I left behind and saw myself as a monster who should’ve never woke up all those times I was higher than a kite.

There have been many nights and sometimes days when I sat and contemplated all the damage I’ve done. One time a few years back, I had a friend tell me to put down the bat and pick up the feather. Another dear friend told me I was at where I was at for a reason. And yet another reminded me to live just for today. Needless to say I’ve been blessed to have many friends who’ve been in my shoes.

Since those days I’ve had to work very hard to leave the bat down. The best thing I can do for myself is to continue working on being a better person. I make amends where and when I can. Those who choose to not forgive me, well, I can only hope and pray that they will someday. If not, as long as I’ve done all I can do, I have to let that person be where they are at and remind myself that I did the best I could.

Thought for the day: We all make mistakes. We are human and we each deserve forgiveness no matter how often or how bad we screw up. Not everyone will forgive us and that’s ok. Just as long as we forgive ourselves and move forward in a positive direction.

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