Alone I Sit

Written May 20, 2017

This is something i wrote one night as I contemplated life. To those of you who know and love me, I’m fine. This was just thoughts running in my head so i wrote them down.

“Alone I Sit”

Alone I sit
With distant memories
Running thru my head
All kinds of memories
Some good, some bad
Some ugly, some sad
And don’t forget
The painful regret

Alone I sit
A tear falls down my cheek
As I grieve the ones lost
To death, to geography  
And to fighting
Yes, things like  
Greed, selfishness and others
Will kill any relationship

Alone I sit
Pain stabbing thru
Nearly every part of my body
Lungs out of breath
From packing and hauling
Can’t move, can’t breathe
Downsizing  from the years
It’s all I have left

Alone I sit
Wondering if it’s all worthwhile
Or is it better
To simply check out.
I talk not of suicide
But of hooking back up
With an old familiar friend
From days gone by

Alone I sit
With empty promises and resentments
Painful memories
Running thru my head
Hearing those words
“I love you honey”
Seems like it was just yesterday
That those words were said

Alone I sit
Remembering the love
That I shared with few
Only to sit in silence
With a broken heart,
Tears in my eyes,
Surrounded by boxes full of memories
Waiting to move – again

Alone I sit
Alone in my shit
I have many friends
I only need to call them
But the phone is to heavy
Then again,
I choose to wallow
Here in my shit

Alone I sit
As I write this limerick
Even tho it doesn’t rhyme.
I recall my gratitude list
But remember all that’s wrong
I have stuff I need to do
But I find writing
Helps a lot

Alone I sit
Looking at what
The future holds
Will my body feel like this
All day, every day?
Will I always be alone?
Will I have money
To eat, to live and to travel?

Alone I sit
Contemplating life
Yet remembering those words
“Just for Today”
Like I was told
Not suggested
It’s up to me
How I want to live

I can sit here alone
Or break free
From these feelings
And living life
To its fullest
Alive and free
From the drama and chaos
That surrounded my life

The choice is up to me.
So what’s it gonna be?

***Please be sure to read more of my posts


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