Written June 8, 2017
People will judge you. People will whisper about you. People will hate you. And there’s nothing you can do about it. Learn to make peace with it, and you will be free. ~ Unknown
When we judge others, whether based on the clothes they wear, how much money they have, who their friends are, their occupation, in a competition or their guilt vs innocence, we form an opinion. There are many ways we judge each other. Matter of fact, good or bad, we are always judging each other. Some of these ways are, like I said, by critiquing another person’s work, deciding who wins a contest, deciding guilt or innocence, or have a feeling or perception about oneself in reaction to someone’s behavior or attitude.
Remember the back in high school when you and your friends would comment on each other’s clothes or the boy or girl someone was dating? Sometimes they were good comments and other times they were not so good. Then of course you also had the mean kids in school. They are the ones who gossiped about you or make fun of how you look. These are forms of judging too. But of course it doesn’t stop in our school years. It continues into college and even adulthood.
I have been the target of judging at different times for much of my life. Despite being a people pleaser and trying to get people to like me, there has always been at least one person who thinks bad things about me. They’ve thought I should do, say, think and feel differently than what I do. As I reflect on those who’ve judged me I realize they do this because these people don’t know the REAL me. They don’t know what’s in my heart or what I think and feel.
I learned some time ago that first impressions don’t always give the right picture of how a person really is. I guess I’m grateful to be a card carrying member of the misfit club since my high school days. It’s taught me to not be a judgemental person. I’ve also learned that it’s impossible to please everyone all the time. And, even tho it goes against my people pleasing nature, I’ve come to better accept this than I have in the past. It still may not make it any easier, but it does get better over time.
What helps to overcome being judgemental is to have empathy. Empathy is having the ability to understand and share the feelings of another, as opposed to sympathy. Sympathy means feelings of pity and sorrow for someone else’s misfortune. Otherwise known as walking a mile in someone else’s shoes. Obviously we can’t always do this literally. We can do it best by imagining what it would be like and how it would feel if we were the other person going thru what they’re going thru.
Thought for the day: Remember that when you point a finger at someone in judgement, you have 3 more pointed back at you.
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