Written July 6, 2017
I’m sure many of you reading this hate change. I am here to tell you that you are not alone. I come by it naturally because my parents used to be pretty stuck in their ways.
As a child growing up we moved twice but both times I was to little to remember. So I never experienced moving until I got older. Since this little bird left the nest at the tender age of 19, I’ve only moved a handful of times. Each time I had to move in was filled with anxiety and trepidation. I think this is because of my fear of the future. I was(still am) afraid I wouldn’t be able to make enough money to pay the bills and that I wouldn’t be safe, especially when I first lived alone.
Now, I’m a couple years(wink, wink) older and a smidge bit wiser. I’ve learned many lessons along the way. From self defense to home maintenance and everything in between, including a couple acronyms for fear. FEAR – (I can either…)“Forget” Everything And Run or Face Everything And Recover. There’s also False Evidence Appearing To Be Real.
So how is change good? To answer this I’ll share with you a short story my best friend shared with me some time ago. She said, “Say you go to the store with a $5 bill. You pick up a loaf of bread for $2. When you hand the clerk your money she hands you back $3. Change is good.”
In life there are all kinds of events based on change that are stressful. Things like starting a new job, retiring, getting married, death of a loved one and so on. Changing your residence is ranked fairly high on the list of life stressors. No matter if you are moving from a shack to a palace, this is still stressful. It may be a happy occasion, but it is still a disruption of our daily routines. And I’m sure some of you reading this agree that any disruption of your routine causes stress. I know this is certainly true for me. Moving disrupts the entire family. And it is a real pain in the neck. Plus you have to deal with the packing.
Everyone hates moving. Packing up all of your belongings and then unpacking them is just a hassle. Very few of us are fortunate enough to be able to have someone do all of this labor for us so it tends to be stressful. It is inevitable that at some point in the moving process someone will snap and an argument will occur. Even if we do not have to lift a finger, moving is still a disruption of our normal routine.
It may take a while until you can get adjusted into your new home. Until you do, you should try to maintain as much of your normal routine as possible, especially if you have children. If you cannot maintain some semblance of a routine while moving, then be sure that you get back on your routine as soon as you get moved. Another option is to change some parts of your routine or create a new one altogether.
Another thing that helps to ease the stress is to be mindful of how we are feeling and ask ourselves if we are indirectly projecting our feelings on our loved ones. Ask yourself, “Am I really mad at this person for leaving the milk out or am I anxious or afraid the cat/dog/bird/etc will get loose during the move?” Many arguments can be avoided this say. They always say that laughter is the best medicine. Why not watch a comedy the night before or even try cracking some of your own jokes.
A couple of us had a good laugh at my expense when I slipped on the floor and almost fell. When I looked to see if I got away with nobody seeing me I saw a couple people holding back a chuckle. I realized then that it was a good time to relax a bit. In my situation, I was very stressed because of a time crunch and, at first, I was afraid I wouldn’t have enough people to help. Now that things are settled, much of my stuff is unpacked and I feel more at home in my new place I realized that much of my anxiety was overblown. Also I’ve decided to work on a new healthier routine.
Looking back I see how silly I was at times but also where I’ve grown. I laugh at myself because I said things like, “What if this doesn’t get done, what if that doesn’t get done what if the weather’s bad, what if…” In the end, I was out by my deadline and we did get rain on the trip with furniture, I had plenty of help and furniture polish to clean the water spots. At least my sofa and chair were safe in an enclosed van!
Thought for the day: Whether you are moving to a new home, starting a new job, retiring, getting married, or any life changing event, change is good. Even if it puts you someplace you don’t want to be, inevitably it will put you on the path you need to be on.
***Please be sure to read more of my posts