Music

“Music speaks what cannot be expressed, soothes the mind and gives it rest. Heals the heart and makes it whole, flows from heaven to the soul.” ~Unknown

People who know me know how much I LOVE music. There are not to many songs that I dislike, however, I find that I like most songs because of the rhythm. On the other hand, there are many songs that tell the story of my life. I used to think only country or blues songs did that but I find that many rock songs do too. For me, music soothes the beast in me, it gives me the natural pick-me-up that I need, it gets and keeps me moving and sometimes it helps me to think a little clearer.

Years ago I realized I had this problem with anger. I used to hit things instead of people. When I lost a battle with a locker I decided that punching things wasn’t such a good idea. I did notice how certain songs helped me to release my rage in a healthier way. Often times, I would turn the music up and start cleaning. Then, when I started driving, I would go for a drive with the music blaring. After driving on some back country roads when I my aggression subsided I went home feeling better. The problem was that when I was angry, I listened to heavy metal bands like Metallica, Iron Maiden, Guns and Roses, etc. Years later this became my downfall.

In the beginning of my recovery, I continued to go for a drive when I was angry but this time I began to still feel angry when I got home, even if I was in a good mood while I was out driving. I soon realized that it was because of the music I listened to, rather the lyrics I heard. Verses like “Get in the ring m***** f***** and I’ll kick your bitchy little ass”, “Holier than thou, You are”, and “I don’t mind if you go blind. You get what you get until you through with my life” rang thru my head and stayed there, just sitting there…stewing…in the muck of my head.

One day, when I told another music loving recovering addict about my dilemma, she told me about a band who sang about getting off drugs. She told me to check out a couple of songs by a group named Redlight King called “Redemption” and “Comeback”. While looking looking them up, their song “Bullet In My Hand” came up. This song became my rallying song. When those bugaboos came to haunt me, I grab my recovery mementos and blast that song. These mementos are my “Bullet In My Hand”.

Next thing I knew, other music on this site was suggested. Songs like “Hero” and “Awake and Alive” by a group called Skillet popped up numerous times. Before I knew it I’d compiled a collection that took up 2 cds. As I listened to the lyrics I began to feel…empowered and even inspired. Whether or not songs by these 2 bands was actually about addiction and recovery they, nevertheless, helped me to feel better about my life and the mistakes I made. I became aware that I still had my whole life ahead of me even in my late 30’s.

Thought for the day: Here are a couple more quotes about music that I thought I’d share. The first one has become my mantra,

“Against the grain should be a way of life. What’s worth the price is always worth the fight. Every second counts cause there’s no second try. So live like you’re never living twice. Don’t take the free ride in your own life.” ~Nickleback “If Today Was Your Last Day”

“Turn the music up loud and dance a little before you step out into the world; it can change the way you walk.” ~Sandra Bullock

“Sometimes, it’s not the song that makes you emotional, it’s the people and things that come to mind when you hear it.” ~Unknown

“Never underestimate the therapeutic power of driving and listening to very loud music.” ~Unknown

***Please be sure to read more of my posts

Redlight King
“Bullet in My Hand

I’ve got a fast life and
A slow cuttin’ knife
I’ve been drinkin’ at a poisoned well
No home and a bag of bones
And nothin’ else left to sell
I know why I’m in this hell
I just don’t wanna believe
Past that line you just can’t tell
But right now

There’s someone lookin’ out for me
I came out of the darkness
With a bullet in my hand
I got one more shot at livin’
I’m lucky that I can
Cause I got a little roughed up
Yeah I really got fucked up
I came out of the darkness
With a bullet in my hand

I got a cold steel wound still there
But there ain’t much left to bleed
A short fuse that I still use
I’m my own worst enemy
Stare at the faces I once knew lined up just to bury me
There’s a long black car that’s waitin’ to leave
But right now

There’s someone looking out for me
I came out of the darkness
With a bullet in my hand
I got one more shot at livin’
I’m lucky that I can
Cause I got a little roughed up
Yeah I really got fucked up
I came out of the darkness
With a bullet in my hand

Cause I got a little roughed up
With a bullet in my hand
Yeah I really got fucked up
With a bullet in my hand

Can you see the lie?
Can you see the lie?
Can you see the lie?
I can see the lie
I can see the lie

There’s someone looking out for me
I came out of the darkness
With a bullet in my hand
I got one more shot at livin’
I’m lucky that I can
Cause I got a little roughed up
Yeah I really got fucked up
I came out of the darkness
With a bullet in my hand

***Please be sure to read more of my posts

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