Who Are You?

“The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are”. ~ C G Jung 

Who are you? Not your name. Who are you as a person? What drives you? What is your passion? This were questions that I was asked some time ago and I had a hard time answering them. Eventually I was faced with having to answer these questions one late and lonely night.

Since I was born I’ve always been something to someone. I’ve been a daughter, a sister, a girlfriend, a friend, a caregiver, a wife, even a friend with “benefits”. While I worked I was was someone’s employee whether I was an aide, a waitress, bartender, store clerk, or stock person. That is until somewhat recently.

It all actually started a few years ago when I hurt my back at work. When I did that I was given those “lovely “ pills for my pain. Eventually, I was eating that poison more than I was supposed to. You know, it’s like they say in that Lays potato chips commercial, “You can’t eat just one.”  

Later, after some recovery and clean time under my belt, I had a somewhat unexpected divorce thrown in my lap, moved to my parents home and cared for my mother. Later that fall I was forced to put my mom in a nursing home, had my significant other move in with me only to move out 1 ½ years later.

It’s not easy living alone. Sometimes the nights are long and lonely. Sometimes in the middle of the night the mind starts racing with all kinds of thoughts. At some point those questions make their way to the front of your mind. Who am I? What drives me? What fuels my passion? To find this out I had to be alone. While being alone I had to get to know me, what I liked or didn’t like, and who or what I wanted in my life. I answered those questions thru meditation, working(rather) playing in my garden, and even setting the house up the way I want it, with or without music.

One of the first things I did was arranged the kitchen, living room and bedroom to the way I wanted it. This is my home, my sanctuary. It’s where I feel safe. That is one of the first and most important things we need to do for ourselves – make sure we are living in a safe environment. After making sure we are living in a safe place the rest seems to fall into place.

It’s also really important to have a positive attitude about your life. Neithet a fantasy attitude and not a negative attitude, but somewhere in the middle. When you begin to feel comfortable in your own skin or you start to feel you’re headed in the right direction, keep doing what makes you happy and comfortable in your skin.

Thought for the day: If you struggle with finding your real, authentic self, the arts can help. Write, paint, draw, sing or play…whatever feels right. There’s no right or wrong way to do it as long as you do it.

***Please be sure to read more of my posts


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About Bella’s Thoughts. This is a project that I began in my mind a number of years ago when I began reading some daily meditations. I had my own thoughts on many occasions and attempted to journal many times without success. It began to take shape when I took on another project for a Spiritual Advisor and dear friend who past away. To learn more about me read my very first blog post. For more daily reflections go to... https://www.facebook.com/Stephanies-Sweetgrass-and-Dancin-1414954615472943/

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