Today I thought I’d share something from an old dear friend.
“We must each of us take care with Our Words. Our Words carry Our Breath, and Our Intent. Words do have a Power. If we tell ourselves we can’t do a thing, chances are we can’t. If we tell ourselves we are ugly or no good, we will begin to believe it. If we tell Our Children negative things, they will believe them about themselves, and their self talk will reflect that. We should always build them and each other up, to Their, and Our best Potential. If We give them criticism they will reflect that, if We give them Love, they will reflect that, and Our future will reflect that. Our Future will reflect what We feed the Young Ones today.” ~Doug
“You’re fat, you’re ugly, stupid, useless, unworthy of love”. How do you feel when you see or hear those words? I bet you feel pretty crappy, huh. How do you feel you see or hear these words, “You’re beautiful, you’re smart, kind, caring, lovable and worthy of love.”? Those words probably make you feel pretty good about yourself.
Every day each of us talks to at least one person, even if it’s a customer service representative at any business. Over a lifetime imagine how many people you’ve talked to and how many words you’ve spoken. How many of those times that you’ve spoken to another person, of any age, and said something you wished you could take back, especially if it was to a child? How about all the times you said positive, inspirational, empowering words to someone? I know for myself that I’m pretty sensitive to things people say to me, especially if they’re negative or said in a particular tone.
Think to yourself things like, “Are my words going to inspire or tear down the other person? Is what I’m going to say important? Am I going to help or hurt someone’s self-esteem?”
Ah yes…Self esteem. Confidence in one’s own worth or abilities. Self esteem is not something we’re born with. In most loving homes,tho, these qualities are nurtured as we grow. Children should hear things like, “I love you.” or, “I’m proud of you.”
Sometimes at some point between our early childhood years and when we reach our teenage or young adult years someone, or a group of someones, comes along and tells us we’re stupid, ugly, not worthy and so on. Perhaps we get picked on by our schoolmates or the adults in our lives say negative things to us. After a while we begin to believe what we are told. We start to believe that we are “less than”, unworthy and unloved, etc and our self esteem starts going downhill. Quite often these are times when we end up doing various things, most of them that cause harm to us, to our bodies or to our spiritual selves, just to fit in, etc.
If we think we’re fat perhaps we become bulimic(regurgitating food we recently ate), anorexic(starving yourself because you think you’re fat but in reality you’re very skinny), go on crash diets or take diet pills. Turning to drugs and alcohol is another problem among young adults. All of these things, and more, we might do just so we can be cool, accepted, fit in, or be part of the “in-crowd”. Sometimes we do these things to cover up or mask our true feelings. When we do these things we are not being our true selves.
I had very low self esteem for a good portion of my life for a variety of reasons. I had done things at first to fit in with my so-called friends and then it was to cover up my feelings of inadequacy and loneliness. I have also been a people pleaser for much of my life. I would do things for you expecting you to like or love me, to be accepted, or for your praise and validation. I would put aside what I needed for your wants, desires or needs.When my expectations fell short I was angry, hurt and disappointed. I was so wrapped up in my low self esteem that I couldn’t even accept compliments from others.
Thought for the day: I’ve learned so much since those days. I’ve learned first and foremost that I am good, lovable, loving, intelligent, beautiful, special, and wonderful. I’m not as bad, ugly(inside or out), unloved or unworthy of love as I thought I was. I am no better and no worse than anyone else and I don’t have to please others to be accepted or loved. For me to be happy I need to look within myself. For me to be happy I need to simply be my fun loving, carefree, kind, caring self.
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