The Success of Failure

“The pursuit of our dreams is not without any difficulty. Those who triumph have learned to overcome the difficulty.” ~ Lailah Gifty Akita

Anyone who knows me knows that I don’t sugar coated things because sometimes that makes matters worse. Truth and reality may be difficult, but deception and misinformation have the potential to kill.

There has been a growing trend in recent years. Many people, myself included, scoffed at it in the beginning. Now that it seems to have picked up steam, it’s not so much a laughing matter. It’s the “everybody gets a prize” theory, even if that person loses. I’ve seen arguments for and against this theory. Now it’s time for a little truth. My next statement might sting a little so brace yourself.

Not everyone who gets a prize wins. Sometimes they actually lose, even if that person gets a prize for losing.

I remember, as a kid, my sister and I played board games with our parents. Sometimes my sister or I would win, but sometimes one of our parents won. When that happened, my sister and I didn’t pitch a fit, flip over the board game or picked up our toys and left. No, we accepted our loss and set the board up to play again.

When I was in elementary school, we had these yearly physical education competitions. I don’t remember winning at many of the events. I didn’t get a trophy, but I got the occasional a ribbon. If I didn’t get a ribbon, I got a certificate for participating. I was bummed out but I didn’t pitch a fit, cry or stomp off the field. I accepted that I wasn’t as good as the other kids and I knew it.

In junior high school, I had really good grades. They were so good that I was in the honor society for 2 years. Starting the following year, my grades weren’t good enough and I didn’t make the honor roll after that. I didn’t lay down a pitch a fit in the middle of the hallway. I took my lumps and accepted that I was going to have to study better and harder.

Then, in high school, I wanted a letter jacket so I could fit in with the cool kids. I knew I could get one if I played sports. So, I tried out for a couple of sports teams but I wasn’t good enough to make the team. I was disappointed, but I didn’t scream and cry or stomp my feet over it. I just practiced and tried harder the next time there were tryouts.

A couple of years later, I found out I could get my letter jacket if I took a certain number of music classes. When it was time to make my schedule out for my senior year with my guidance counselor, she told me some bad news. She informed me that I’d have to give up one of my music classes so I could take another class I needed to graduate. I weighed my choices between graduating and letter jacket. I eventually decided that graduation was more important than a silly jacket, but, just like the other times, I didn’t pitch a fit. I sucked it up and took the class I needed to take so I could graduate.

That year our band was entered into a national contest which was held about 8 hours away. We ended up in 3rd or 4th place. No we didn’t win but we as a team got a little 3” high trophy. Were we disappointed that we lost? Sure we were, but we were also proud of ourselves and how far we made it. By the way, I forgot to mention that we were a very small school, from a small town that no one even heard of. To give you an idea of how small our class was, there was about 80 kids in each grade.

By now you’re probably wondering what my point is to my trip down memory lane. I have a couple of them actually, rather lessons that I learned from not winning. The first thing I learned when I was young is that in life there are winners and losers. Not everyone who participates in a competition gets a prize, and that’s ok. You just practice and try harder the next time you try out.

My second point is that, when I didn’t get rewarded for losing, I actually won in the end. Sounds like an oxymoron doesn’t it? So how did I win when in reality I lost? Simple. I learned to not pitch a fit when I lost or didn’t get what I wanted in life because of a quote I heard. “It’s not whether you win or lose, it’s how you play the game.” by Henry Grantland Rice. The way I played the game showed my character. By not being a sore loser I was humble and I played with integrity.

Finally, and perhaps most important, I learned that sometimes when I don’t win a competition or get what I want, it may be a blessing for any number of reasons. Alexander Graham Bell once said, “When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.” Looking back on all those times that I didn’t get a job I really wanted, got dumped by a boyfriend, had my house fire, got divorced, or any other life on life’s terms stuff, I was understandably upset. However, I learned to pick myself up by my bootstraps and either try again or shift gears altogether. Eventually I’ve seen the blessings in each case.

“Practice makes perfect” was a phrase I heard quite frequently from all the adults in my life while was growing up. I used to hate hearing it because sometimes, no matter how much I practiced or tried, I wasn’t good enough. Despite all that, I grew without even realizing it. I learned to become a stubborn, perseverant, independent woman who learned that it really isn’t whether I win or lose, it’s how I play the game.

Thought for the day: I thought I’d close this with a few inspirational and motivating quotes:

“Failure is an opportunity to learn again” ~ Bangambiki Habyarimana

“True success is the achievement of many failures” ~ Válgame

“Don’t fear mistakes, they are your stepping stone to success” ~ Bangambiki Habyarimana

“Success sits on a mountain of mistakes” ~ Bangambiki Habyarimana

“Success in life is not for those who run fast, but for those who keep running and always on the move.” ~ Bangambiki Habyarimana

***Please be sure to read more of my posts


Judging Others

“People will judge you. People will whisper about you. People will hate you. And there’s nothing you can do about it. Learn to make peace with it, and you will be free”. ~ Unknown

When we judge others, we form an opinion about whether it’s based on the clothes they wear, how much money they have, who their friends are, their occupation, in a competition or their guilt vs innocence, and so on. There are many ways we judge each other. Matter of fact, good or bad, we are always judging each other. Some of these ways are, like I said, by critiquing another person’s work, deciding who wins a contest, deciding guilt or innocence, or have a feeling or perception about oneself in reaction to someone’s behavior or attitude. Let’s look at this as if we were to look at both sides of the coin.

Remember the back in your high school when you and your friends would comment on each other’s clothes or the boy or girl someone was dating? Sometimes they were good comments and other times they were not so good. Then of course you also had the mean kids in school. They are the ones who gossiped about you or make fun of how you look. These are forms of judging too. But of course it doesn’t stop in our school years. It continues into college and even adulthood.

I have been the target unfair judgement at different times for much of my life. Despite being a people pleaser and trying to get people to like me, there has always been at least one person who says or thinks bad things about me. They’ve thought I should do, say, think or feel a certain way. As I reflect on those who’ve judged me, I realize they do this because these people don’t know the REAL me. They don’t know what’s in my heart or what I think and feel.

I learned some time ago that first impressions don’t always give an accurate picture of how a person really is. I guess I’m grateful to be a card carrying member of the misfit club since my high school days. It’s taught me to not be a judgemental person. I’ve also learned that it’s impossible to please everyone all the time. And, even tho it goes against my people pleasing nature, I’m better accept this than I have in the past. It may not make it any easier, but it does get better over time.

There’s one more way I’ve been judged. This has been by people who know me and how I live my life but they see me acting differently. I may be acting out on certain bad behaviors or hanging out with people who aren’t good for me. These people who know and love me call me out and tell me how I’ve been acting or they remind me of how the people I hang out with will affect me.

On this flip side, what helps to overcome being judgemental is to have empathy. Empathy is having the ability to understand and share the feelings of another, as opposed to sympathy. Sympathy means feelings of pity and sorrow for someone else’s misfortune. It’s otherwise known as walking a mile in someone else’s shoes. Obviously we can’t always do this literally. We can do it best by imagining what it would be like and how it would feel if we were the other person going thru what they’re going thru.

Thought for the day: Remember it’s more important to be your true authentic self than to fall for some label someone put on you. Also when you point a finger at someone in judgement,  you have 3 more pointed back at you.

***Please be sure to read more of my posts

My Trip to Herkimer, NY

Written July 31, 2017

“A muddied diamond is better than an unsullied pebble.” ~Matshona Dhliwayo

We’ve all heard the idiom about “a diamond in the rough”, right? How about a diamond in the mud. Actually the ones I was after are more of a crystal but they look like diamonds. More on my dirty story in a moment.

I recently took a vacation to a relatively little known place called Herkimer. It is a town at the base of the Adirondack mountains in New York State. The area is popular for one main reason. Diamond mining. These are not the diamonds that you find in a jewelry store. They are actually crystals that are similar to quartz crystals but they are very clear.


My lil corner of the world was once covered by the Laurentide Ice Sheet. This ice sheet occurred in the Pleistocene epoch(about 1.8 million – 8,000 years ago) aka “The Great Ice Age”. It created much of the landscape we see today in southern Canada and the northern United States.

When the glacier retreated, it left behind accumulations of dirt and rocks that range in size from powdery silt to large rocks and boulders, some the size of a car. It also created the most beautiful hills, valleys and lakes. It also caused many changes to the shape, size, and drainage of the Great Lakes. There are numerous, and I do mean numerous, small lakes in the Herkimer region each one with their own beauty. Almost all of this beauty I have been blessed to see.

In the Herkimer region, diamond looking crystals formed in cavities of prehistoric rock called dolostone in the Cambrian-age(about 500 million years ago) which is VERY hard. These cavities are frequently lined with drusy quartz crystals and are often coated with a tarry hydrocarbon.

Herkimer Diamonds look a lot like other forms of quartz. They are almost always transparent and range from colorless to smoky in color. While most crystals come to a faceted point on one end(terminated), Herkimer diamonds have points on both ends(double terminated).

These crystals can contain a wide range of inclusions(a birthmark of sorts). Particles of solid hydrocarbon materials are the most common inclusion while calcite, dolomite, pyrite, and sphalerite are common mineral inclusions. Inclusions range from small visible particles down to micron-size particles. When abundant, they can impart color in the crystals. Salt water and liquid petroleum can also be seen. Phantom inclusions are crystals that form over pre-existing crystals.

The Mohawk Indians and early settlers found these crystals in stream sediments and plowed fields. They were amazed with the beauty of the crystals and immediately held them in high esteem. They used the crystals as amulets, making tools, and traded them with other tribes. They began to lose interest in the crystals when European glass beads began to arrive in the early 1600s.

Besides being made into jewelry, Herkimer Diamonds are known for their metaphysical properties of energy and chakra healing along with balancing energy. The Herkimer Diamond, with its pure, crystal light, clears the chakras and the mind, opening channels for spiritual energy to flow. They are basically the overall healing crystal.

Ways of Prospecting

Note: All of the tools I mention can be rented at the mines or you can bring your own to most if not all the mining sites.

The key to finding Herkimer Diamonds is a knowledge of what they look like and where they can be found. The stone cavities that they can be found can be smaller than a pea or several feet across. Some of the mines have the dolostone exposed and a significant amount of broken rock is scattered across the quarry floor.

The best way to prospect is the “find and break” method which is breaking open the dolostone with a heavy hammer and a chisel. Many mines make piles of rocks of all sizes for everyone of all ages can find their own diamond. Many times you’ll find that the stones that you break open will be empty or you will accidentally shatter a crystal, but if you are lucky, you can break one open to reveal one or several precious diamonds.

A friendly warning tho, the dolostone is very tough rock, so expect to work hard and using safety glasses is strongly recommended. Wise collectors wear gloves to protect their hands from cuts or accidental finger smashing(personal experience). Another good idea is to wear jeans and a long-sleeve shirt but doing this in the middle of July or August can get pretty warm. Good sturdy ankle high boots is a must if you climb the rock piles. Also, I learned from personal experience to have bandaids handy for the occasional cuts and other mishaps

This way can lead to a few good finds. The keys to success are selection of good rocks to break and not being discouraged if you break fifty rocks without finding a crystal or if you accidentally shatter a good crystal.

There’s also “scavenger” prospecting. Many people have been successful by simply searching rock rubble, the quarry floor or even nearby streams for crystals. I found several really nice crystals this way and lots of tiny ones. This is the easiest and safest prospecting method, although I like to climb the rock piles to find them.

You can also “cavity” prospect. This is for finding large quantities of crystals and even crystals joined together. This method is done by breaking into large cavities in the quarry walls and floors using sledgehammers and wedges (power equipment is not permitted at the mines). This method requires patience, time, and a knowledge of how to break an extremely durable dolostone.

Recently, the mine that I go to put in a sluice which yielded some very nice finds for me. This is done by taking a scoop or two of gravel and putting it in a couple of screened trays, one with big hole and one with little holes. You then put those screens into the trough of water that’s stands about waist high. While the tray is in the water you agitate the screens kinda like a washing machine. Doing this washes the dirt off the stones and sorts the big ones from the little ones. If you’re really lucky a big one will appear with the big rocks.

My Experience

This was my 3rd trip to Herkimer and I must say, it doesn’t get boring for this writer. Each year I’ve gone I either find a more unique crystal than last year or I have some new experience. The last two trips my friends and I mined in the blazing hot sun and one day in a thunderstorm. Talk about unnerving! This year we were blessed with cooler temperatures and cloudy conditions with one day of steady rain. I say blessed because even tho the sun helps to point out the crystals on the quarry floor, it also makes it very warm. The rain helps to clean the dirt off the precious gems and kept the mob of people away but it made for a very dirty day but I didn’t mind. I donned a rain poncho and had a good time. Growing up a tomboy definitely came in handy that day. This was my diamond in the mud day.

This year was perhaps my best year for finding Herks, as they are affably called. I found Herks in each of the methods I described above, except cavity prospecting. Each method I found tiny perfect ones, ones with chips in them, broken ones and larger ones in very good condition.

Next to the beauty of these crystals is the amazing scenery in this area of New York. I’m not sure which was more healing for my soul, the crystals or the sunset in the mountains. One thing is certain tho, I’m going to keep going there every summer as long as my body will allow it. Heck, my best friend and I have talked about moving there and prospecting all year long. Definitely an option I’m going to keep open.

Coming up is my visit to a garnet mine 2 hours away from Herkimer.

Thought for the day: No matter what the weather or the day brings, there’s always some bright, shiny ray of light to find, regardless of it’s size.

***Please be sure to read more of my posts


“Even if things don’t unfold the way you expected, don’t be disheartened or give up. One who continues to advance will win in the end” ~ Daisaku Ikeda

There’s one thing I’ve learned in life it’s that people don’t act and situations don’t happen the way I want or expect them to. Every time I expect people to act or not act a certain way I am almost always disappointed, rarely am I pleasantly surprised. The same is true for situations. If you were to ask me which hurts more(people or situations), I’d have a hard time deciding.

It’s these kind of things that can lead to resentments if we don’t deal with them appropriately. A resentment is a feeling of deep, bitter anger and/or ill-will. Although they actually don’t weigh anything, resentments can weigh heavy on the heart. They can also eat away at us and kill us slowly, rather our insides, like a slow poison.

It’s been, and still is some days, a struggle to remind myself of the one thing that counteracts the poison of resentment – knowing that I am powerless, I have no control, over other people or situations. That’s not to say that I’m totally powerless. My power lies in how I act, react, and respond(or not in some cases) to what happens.

I have 2 choices; 1) I can stomp around, kicking things and wailing, “It’s just not fair!!” or 2) pull up my big girl panties and keep putting one foot in front of the other. Do I still have temper tantrums like a little child? Of course I do, just not as bad or as long as I used to.

Another thing that really helps is reminding myself that my Higher Power puts people in or takes them out of my life and puts me in situations or takes me out of them for a reason. Why does He do this? He does it to guide me in the right direction or steer me away from a collision course with disaster.

It’s very difficult to see it when I’m in the thick of it but if I keep hanging on to the faith, just a bit longer, I can look back and see what would’ve happened if this or that did/didn’t happened. It’s also very helpful to recite and break down the Serenity Prayer line by line. I ask myself who and what do I have control over? What can I change? In doing this I benefit in 2 ways; 1) my wobbly faith in Him grows stronger and 2) I can stop a resentment from brewing and festering inside me.

Thought for the day: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

***Please be sure to read more of my posts


Written August 15, 2016(edited 2017)

“Acceptance is the answer to ALL my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation – some fact of my life – unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being EXACTLY the way it is supposed to be at this moment.” ~ Anonymous

Just so nobody gets mixed up on the definition of acceptance, as a friend of mine says, let’s get out the dictionary. Acceptance has 3 different yet similar meanings; 1) the act of taking something that is offered, 2) the act of accepting with approval; favorable reception, 3) a disposition to tolerate or accept people or situations. Today I’d like to share on the third definition, a disposition to tolerate or accept people or situations.

I’ve been told if I’m upset about something that I’m probably having a hard time accepting it. As I think about why I’m irritated today I realized what I’m not accepting. Life. I’m not accepting of how my life currently is – aka life on life’s terms. For a number of years after I hurt my back I was pissed off because I couldn’t work. Part of my decision to not work was because it was to difficult physically and mentally. Some days the pain was so bad it affected my thinking. I resented myself for leaving the workforce and the decisions I made that led to the injury. I even resented my Higher Power for not answering my prayers for healing.

At the time I didn’t want to accept my reality. I didn’t want to accept that even tho the injury was an accident, not listening to my doctor’s advise and taking it easy made the injury worse. I didn’t want to accept that I was disabled at an early age. Least of all, I didn’t want to accept that I would probably have pain for the rest of my life.

Today I have finally come to accept all of that including the bad decisions I made. I’ve even come to accept that my Higher Power guided me to and thru everything that’s happened for a reason. Maybe it was a way to set the gears in motion to remove certain people from my life so that new people could come in. It could’ve even been to teach me what I needed so that I’d be able to help others in a different way than I had for many years before all of this. It could’ve even been to prepare me for what I am going thru now.

I have kind of domino thing going on. I have 3 or 4 issues going on that are causing a great deal of stress. Normally when I’m faced with a bunch of things I can fix one thing at a time. It didn’t matter what order I fixed things. Right now I have to fix Problem A before I can resolve Problems B and C. Sadly, I’ve run out of ideas and this affects me mentally and spiritually.  I have days that I don’t want to get out of bed let alone go out to do errands or socialize with my friends? Forget that!

As I write this, it dawned on me that the way I feel today is how I felt when I hurt my back. Pissed off  and depressed because I have little to no control over what’s going on in my life. What I forgot was that I have some tools I can use to move from a lousy mood and in to acceptance.

I can pray to my Higher Power and ask for the strength to accept that He has His reasons and a plan for me. I can also do a gratitude list when life gets to hard. Finally I need to remember that this too shall pass.

There are the little things that I can do too, like going for a drive, play in the garden and write. I remind myself that I have no control over anything outside of myself. I have no control over you, your actions or your feelings. I have about as much control over you or anything else as I do when it rains, snows or if the sun comes out. All I can do is accept what is and. When I do any one or all of these things, I begin to feel better. Acceptance becomes a little easier and my problems don’t seem quite so bad.

***Please be sure. to read more of my posts

The Hippocratic Oath

Written January 12, 2017(edited June 2017)

***Warning!! ***   If your are reading this, you will soon see that I’m not feeling very spiritual today. I fear this will be more of a rant than my usual uplifting or positive messages. This topic has been affecting my life in numerous ways. It has affected my ability to obtain gainful employment, it has disfigured and weakened my body, has been a financial burden, caused me to spend untold hours on the internet, affected my ability to get close to anyone, affected my self esteem and self image. All in all this has caused me a lot of stress in my life. I warn you to read on at your own risk

I will start by saying that I find myself feeling disheartened, disenchanted, disappointed and disillusioned by a group of people and a certain profession that I have gratefully worked in first much of my life and previously respected or admired. Perhaps at least one, if not more, of you reading this have noticed this in your own life.

You see, once upon a time, until about a century or more ago, doctors, especially small town doctors, took care of anything that their patients became ill with. There were few if any specialists. Stub your toe or cut your finger, appendicitis, kidney failure, heart attack or stroke? Dr Doe took care of it. And if he did surgery, Dr Doe did it himself with the help of his nurses who monitored the patient’s vitals AND how much anesthesia the patient got. Today there are specialists for every inch of our bodies. But what if each of your symptoms that you see different doctors for is due to one illness/disease/condition?  

Sometime between college and seeing their first patient, doctors take what’s called the Hippocratic Oath. According to Wikipedia, the Hippocratic Oath says, “I swear to the best of my ability and judgement,… I will remember that I do not treat a fever chart, a cancerous growth, but a sick human being, whose illness may affect the person’s family and economic stability…”  “Primum non nocere” is a Latin phrase that means “first, do no harm.” and it is a phrase we occasionally hear. Even tho it is not part of the Hippocratic oath, at least not word for word. In layman’s terms it means, “given an existing problem, it may be better not to do something, or even to do nothing, than to risk causing more harm than good”

With all of that said, I feel like I’ve been dismissed and abandoned by 5 or 6 doctors. I’ve mentioned in the past that I have some health issues. Here’s my story…

I have come to the realization that traditional medicine cares more for the almighty dollar than for its patients. Doctors spend less and less time with their patients and listen to them even less. They and the health care system as a whole seems to view their patients as billable units, aka big fat dollar signs. But what about the patient? “Patient, schmatient. Who cares. I need to move on to the next patient so I can get paid.” Ok that may not be exactly how it goes and perhaps not all of them, but you get my point. Especially since I have not had much luck with doctors lately(this doesn’t apply to nursing and office staff of doctors).

The more I deal with traditional medicine and I learn about alternative or homeopathic medicine the more I want to stop taking all of the medications I take and switch completely to alternative medicine. It’s the medicine our Ancestors used and it worked well for them.

About two years ago I saw my primary care physician regarding what seemed to be a simple problem. It has since grown into something much more involved, maybe even more serious than my mind has manufactured. Perhaps it’s because of a lifestyle adjustment I have made or need to make. Maybe it’s because I need to get rid of medications. Perhaps it’s something more sinister. I don’t know.

Picture this, you’re in the doctor’s office and you filled out the pre-appointment paperwork asking about any signs and symptoms you have currently or have had. Maybe you’re actually talking with the doctor and going over what your ailments are. Then the doctor says, “You need something for this symptom. Here’s a pill.” or “You’re having these side effects from that pill? Here’s another pill to take care of that.” Or maybe you’ve heard something like, “So after you browsed the internet, you think you have this illness/disease? Who’s the doctor – you or me?” Or, heaven forbid the doctor says, “You’re a delusional hypochondriac.” Heaven forbid if you know how you feel better than the doctor.

Conversations like this happen all the time in doctors offices everywhere. Legitimate patient complaints are not heard let alone addressed. Important vital signs, like pulse rate and blood pressure that’s been creeping up over a year or 2 get missed and lab results get overlooked. Even your medical record may be slightly adjusted to cover someone’s screw up.

One thing that can complicate things further is the internet. It is overflowing with information, even misinformation, that can be accessed by anyone 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. I should know, I’ve been on the internet at various times of the day or night looking on countless sites trying to figure out if I have a common cold, some life debilitating disease or cancer.

My point is a simple message to doctors, despite the fact the body is complex, sometimes the patient knows how their body feels and works. Sometimes the so called hypochondriac isn’t as neurotic as they seem. Plus, sometimes telling a patient they’re delusional or in so many words that they’re crazy when they’re far from it causes even more harm.

Also a message to patients, if you’re anything like me, you know your body and how it works better than almost any healthcare provider. The worst part about it is that you and I are not alone. I’ve come across many, MANY online blogs, forums and groups and people I run into who feel the way I do. Is it any wonder why so many people are turning to holistic medicine more and more?

Over the last couple years my body has gone thru some big changes, a couple of which you would not expect at my young age. Increased and sometimes debilitating pain throughout my body and a rise in my blood pressure. Plus, no matter how much exercise or how active I am I can’t lose weight and on top of it all I can’t breathe even if I walk across the room. Yes I smoke and no I’m not obese. I am a couple(about 20)pounds overweight and I don’t eat as much as one would think nor do I eat junk. I’ve cut back on smoking. My physical pain is not due to inactivity because I’m active and my part time job keeps me more active than my full time job did.

I was insulted by my first dermatologist who said he’d write a prescription of the over the counter salve Aquaphor, that is basically Vaseline. Another told me I had a certain type of acne which was, based on my research, far from what I had. The worst was the one who told me that I was delusional and/or it’s because of anxiety/stress. After an MRI showed results outside of his scope of expertise, a doctor said there was nothing he could do and sent me on my way. The worst one was the one who had me in for a single visit, did no tests at all, and said I had some sort of neuroderm.

Anything I said to these medical professionals didn’t seem to matter. They 1) thought they knew my body better than me, 2) didn’t look me over as a whole person nor did they 3) listen to some of my plausible thoughts. They also didn’t look at my pre appointment paperwork, or if they did they thought I was overreacting because I circled almost everything on the paper. As a woman who’s worked in healthcare and seen a lot of health related “stuff” most of my life, I think I have a bit of knowledge in the field. Was it my insurance other something in my chart that scared away the doctors? I’ll never know for sure.

All the while I continue to feel worse and worse while fighting each day to simply function.

It was only after a fluke situation that caused me to go to our emergency room and insisted having a particular test done. That may finally be opening doors to some answers. That and combing back over my chart to find some anomalies. My continued insistence has led to more tests and more clues but no solid results…yet.

I’ve heard people say that patients need to be proactive about their health. I’ve also been told over the years that the only stupid question is the one I don’t ask and could probably save my life. One way to be proactive is to use a tool that is available right at your fingertips. Many health facilities have your medical information available with a few clicks. Go online to the facilities and access it. Learn about how your body works.

The current model of medicine treats symptoms rather than looking for the underlying cause. This further explains why doctors are quick to prescribe medication that might momentarily ease suffering. As patients, we need to be ever more vigilant with our own health and well being as new and often crazy things happen to our bodies. As it currently stands, I am giving my primary doctor’s provider and a local specialist one more chance before I either leave the state for health care or, due to lack of finances, resign to live like this until I die. In pain, with deformed skin on my face and just all around uncomfortable in my own skin.

*** Please be sure to read more of my posts


Modern Version of Hippocratic Oath

I swear to fulfill, to the best of my ability and judgment, this covenant:…

I will respect the hard-won scientific gains of those physicians in whose steps I walk, and gladly share such knowledge as is mine with those who are to follow.

I will apply, for the benefit of the sick, all measures which are required, avoiding those twin traps of overtreatment and therapeutic nihilism(contention that curing people, or societies, of their ills by treatment is impossible. In medicine, it was connected to the idea that many “cures” do more harm than good, and that one should instead encourage the body to heal itself.)

I will remember that there is art to medicine as well as science, and that warmth, sympathy, and understanding may outweigh the surgeon’s knife or the chemist’s drug.

I will not be ashamed to say “I know not,” nor will I fail to call in my colleagues when the skills of another are needed for a patient’s recovery.

I will respect the privacy of my patients, for their problems are not disclosed to me that the world may know. Most especially must I tread with care in matters of life and death. Above all, I must not play at God.

I will remember that I do not treat a fever chart, a cancerous growth, but a sick human being, whose illness may affect the person’s family and economic stability. My responsibility includes these related problems, if I am to care adequately for the sick.

I will prevent disease whenever I can, for prevention is preferable to cure.

I will remember that I remain a member of society, with special obligations to all my fellow human beings, those sound of mind and body as well as the infirm.

If I do not violate this oath, may I enjoy life and art, respected while I live and remembered with affection thereafter. May I always act so as to preserve the finest traditions of my calling and may I long experience the joy of healing those who seek my help.

*** Please be sure to read more of my posts


Written April 29, 2017

“Expectations are premeditated resentments.” ~Anonymous

Oh how I still like to try to control people, places and things.  Even though I’ve been taught that I am powerlessness over everything outside of myself and the tools to deal with life, I still find myself resentful when things don’t go my way.  And I can usually trace my resentments back to my expectations. These can be expectations about people and situations.

Expectations are indications that I haven’t fully turned my will and life over to my Higher Power.  It means I’ve forgotten that my job is to suit up and show up and that it is my Higher Power’s job to take care of the results.  Since expectations are anticipated hopes, dreams and results in disguise, it’s no wonder they so easily lead to resentments.

Today I use expectations as reminders to refocus my energy and thoughts on the actions that I have to take and to stay out of the results.  I’ll admit, some days it’s harder to do than other days. When I feel that feeling of expecting the result to a situation go my way I stop and remind myself that there’s a chance I could get let down. Then I turn my expectations back over to my Higher Power.  

Doing this allows me to be truly open to the gifts in the results (and they are always there if I am open to them), and it keeps me safe from unnecessary resentments, negative thoughts or acting impulsively.

Thought for the day: Tell yourself, “I will accept whatever comes my way. If I feel that I am expecting a person or situation to be a certain way, I’ll stop and remind myself that I am powerless then turn it over to my Higher Power.”