“The Road Less Traveled”

Written May 20, 2016(edited 2016)

“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I – I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.” ~ Robert Frost

Who’d have thought years ago when I had to memorize this poem that I’d contemplate it more in my adult years! One can look at this poem, actually, this quote, a couple of ways. The way Robert Frost intended is looking at our journey in life and the choices we make. Or look at it as actually our path from point A to point B.

A site that discusses the meaning of this poem says, “The yellow coloring of the woods is representative of the light, hope, and promise that the speaker is standing before. His future is bright and stretches before him. Tho both paths are equally lit, he must choose only one.

It goes on to say, “The poem is set in the woods because we get an image of a quiet, deserted place where the speaker is left alone to decide. There are no road signs or people to stop and ask for directions. Similarly, there are no signs in life designed to help people choose their path”.

Pretty straightforward right? So many times in life we come to this divergence, or separation of paths, and we need to choose. Both choices lead to light and hope for the future but each path has different circumstances and situations to get there. Some of these circumstances and situations are more difficult than others.

The other thought came to me when I was out traveling the other day. In life when we physically travel from point A to point B we don’t really pay attention to our route. We just go. I had some errands to run the other day and I had two different routes I could take home. I could take one route that would be the quickest and more populated or the one that would be the most scenic and is less traveled. One was for the most part straight and the other had twists and turns. One was smooth riding while the other was a bit rough. Despite the fact I was in somewhat of a hurry, I chose the scenic route.

You see I am blessed to live in a beautiful part of the country. Since nature and music soothes my soul, I combined the 2 and enjoyed the journey. Sure, I had stuff I needed to do at home and maybe I procrastinated a bit but I also knew stuff would eventually get done.

As I drove, I felt the anxiety and depression loosen the grip that it had on me. Kind of like Robert Frost said, “I took the one less traveled, and that has made all the difference.” Taking the scenic way, a path less traveled, well, it did make all the difference.

Along the route I stumbled on a couple of osprey nests, one of them had the beautiful bird in it. I pulled over to take a picture of that and then down the road I pulled over and got out of my car again. This time I was overlooking my Higher Power’s creation of a waterway. I breathed in the spring air and began to feel human again. After a couple more pictures, I headed for home on the winding road thru the hills of my lil corner of the world.

Thought for the day: Instead of taking the same old quick route to or from work, school, errands, etc, why not take the scenic route. You never know what beauty you’ll find.

***Please be sure to read more of my posts.

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Idiots

Written May 19, 2017


“If you’re not pissing off an idiot than you are an idiot” ~ Ted Nugent

I’ve written before about the slow growing rumble in America. You know what I’m talking about. The slowly growing rumble caused by all of the stuff that has been going on over the years. The rumble that caused the outcome of the 2016 presidential election. What’s caused it and who are these people you ask?

The “who” is middle America. They are the blue collfcar, hard working, often overworked and underpaid people of America. First responders, factory workers, teachers, cashiers, farmers, mechanics and many others. Basically the people who are the backbone of this country. They are the unheard forgotten men and women of America. They are the same people who try to discuss politics and other hot button topics but they are shouted down and called names like racist, misogynist, xenophobe, homophobe, deplorable and other names. Many of these people made their voices known in the 2016 election.

The “what” that’s causing the rumbling in the hearts and minds of these people are numerous reasons. but the short list is failed policies, high taxes, corrupt politicians, unaffordable healthcare, along with job and income loss. They want to feel safe in their communities from criminal illegal immigrants and radicalized refugees who sneak in the country often more than once. Plus the politicians who don’t denounce or condemn the violent protests in their communities.

These people sit back in silence while Political Correctness is shoved down their throats and Freedom of Speech, Religion and the Right to Bear Arms are ripped away from them while being called fascists by people who actually are being fascist. Personally if I hear one more time that Russia is responsible for the garbage of this presidency I’m going to go crazy.

Day after day, American citizens like the ones I mentioned are hit with headline after headline from mainstream media about how bad President Trump is for the country and so on. Another thing Americans are hit with daily is politicians continuously obstructing a blocking President Trump at every turn. They also take no shame in showing their hypocritical practices as they are caught on camera saying one thing in the past and saying something totally different today.

There’s two major flaws, with these practices. These kind of things continue to further divide the country and fan the flames of anger and hatred in the people who despise him. Also, for anyone who voted for President Trump, this adds to their anger towards the mainstream media and elitist mentality. They are tired of working hard only to work even harder while others win. They are tired of being told how to live.

I wrote months ago that I, and others like me, feared that despite who won the election our country would surely fall into another Civil War. I’m not to far off from my prediction. Now I make another one. I predict that if these career politicians and the media elite get their way and are successful in having the President impeached there will be an all out actual civil war, only it won’t be very civil. I can see where blue collar, hard working, middle America will rise up like we’ve never seen before.

Going back to the quote. An idiot is a person of lower-than-normal intelligence; someone who does foolish things; a person lacking intelligence or common sense. The word originated in the 1300s, from the Old French word idiote, which meant “person so mentally deficient as to be incapable of ordinary reasoning.” Today, though, idiot describes anyone who does foolish things, especially things that inconvenience others.(vocabulary.com)

A couple of examples of an idiot your car getting stolen because you left it unlocked with the key in the ignition. Or if you put the Thanksgiving turkey in the oven but forget to turn it on. When you take it out in four hours, you’ll have a cold turkey and a bunch of relatives calling you “idiot.”(vocabulary.com).

Putting Ted Nugent’s quote into context, look at what the media and other politicians are doing. They continue to hammer this Russian narrative and report on leaks without naming their names, let alone their sources of their information. But yet if you traveled the country and actually asked Americans you would hear that they’re sick and tired of hearing the lies and hypocrisy that separates this country.

Now, I’m not endorsing any one mainstream media outlet over another, but the next time President Trump is giving a speech on live TV, I encourage you to watch it. Watch the whole thing with an open mind. Preferably on Fox news because I know that they typically show the whole speech without interruption. Next, watch or read other mainstream media. Notice how President Trump’s words are twisted and used against him.

Now I know what you may be thinking. You may be thinking I’m some deplorable, irredeemable, backwoods, redneck, hillbilly bitch who supports  President Trump and that I get my information from from news outlets and social media that lies. You may be calling me a racist, feminist, homophobe, misogynist or any other name you can think of. I assure you, you couldn’t be further from the truth. I have a college degree and as I’ve said, I’m neither a pessimist nor an optimist. I am a realist. I see things the way they actually are. If I hear information that doesn’t sound right, I look it up. If I hear something that has a whiff of untruth to it, I research it.

The world as we know it is in more turmoil than ever before. Whether you believe in deep state “puppeteers” or some other conspiracy theory makes no difference. We need to put aside our petty differences and false narratives so we can bring about some semblance of peace. Not so much for ourselves and our sanity but for the sake of future generations who will inherit the mess we leave behind.

A message to all the idiots(leaders and mainstream media) out there. The American public need to, no I take that back. They have a RIGHT to know the truth.

***Please be sure to read more of my posts

Bullies

Written May 16, 2017

The following is a social media post that went viral at one time. It’s a lesson that bears repeating and continued sharing…

  • A teacher in New York was teaching her class about bullying and gave them the following exercise to perform.

She had the children take a piece of paper and told them to crumple it up, stomp on it and really mess it up but do not rip it. Then she had them unfold the paper, smooth it out and look at how scarred and dirty is was. She then told them to tell it they’re sorry.

  • Now even though they said they were sorry and tried to fix the paper, she pointed out all the scars they left behind. She told them that those scars will never go away no matter how hard they tried to fix it. She further explained that is what happens when a child bully’s another child. They may say they’re sorry but the scars are there forever.What’s not mentioned in this lesson is how these scars affect us as we grow up. Those of us who literally survive being bullied or picked on as a child in our school days will quite often have thoughts of inadequacy. We grow up believing we are worthless and useless. We feel like we will never fit in anywhere and we won’t amount to anything. Those words we hear haunt us sometimes for years to come. I should know. I’ve been picked on as a teenager and bullied as an adult.There are cases where children, and adults alike, have taken our own lives because they’ve felt so worthless and unloved. I was fortunate tho because I had a stronger will to survive and to prove to others that I wasn’t all those names they called me or those awful things they thought about me.

    If you are a child, young adult, or older adults who has experienced bullying or being picked on – no matter what age – I want you to know this much…you ARE beautiful, you ARE creative, you ARE unique, you ARE quirky, you ARE crazy, yet you also ARE soft, you ARE caring, you ARE kind, you ARE loyal, you ARE compassionate, and you ARE passionate. You ARE every positive adjective in the dictionary. You ARE also stronger than you know. You CAN and WILL succeed in anything you put your mind to.

When the lesson was over, the looks on the faces of the children in the classroom told her the message hit home. Pass it on or better yet, if you’re a parent or a teacher, do it with your child/children

Thought for the day: The old saying “Sticks and stones will never hurt me…” or the one about “I’m rubber and you’re glue…” are not true. Words do hurt. Take care with your words.

***Please be sure to read more of my posts

Anniversaries of Bad Events

Written May 13, 2016 (edited 2017)


Today I thought I’d write about anniversaries of bad or tragic events. We’ve all had them at least once in our life. Matter of fact, I am fast approaching the anniversary of just one of my many bad events. It was the first of my(so far) 3 life changing events. In just a few short days I will be remembering the day that changed my life forever 14 years ago. I remember it like it was yesterday.

A few years ago, I had a cute little loft apartment in a really good neighborhood between two villages just outside of town. It was actually a converted attic but my best friend and I made it very homey. I was within walking distance of the lake and two restaurants. I had a sun porch, a nice yard and a clothesline that I used all the time whenever the temperature was at least 60°. Two odd things that I loved were a claw foot bath tub and a throne on a throne as we called it. It was really a toilet on a platform. Probably to accommodate for the existing plumbing when it was replaced.

I shared my home with a beloved menagerie of animals – a “few” cats, 2 ferrets and 3 very large fish. Around the corner was my best friend and her family where I frequently ate dinner or went for a dip in the pool on hot summer days. That was quite possibly the best time of my life. I had life by the…um, we’ll you know. I lived and made many memories there during the 6 years I lived there. That is, until one fateful day in May.

I woke up one morning with a killer migraine and contemplated calling in sick. I decided against it because I didn’t want to leave my co worker stranded alone that day, so I pulled myself together and went to work. As I was muddling thru my morning at work I got an odd phone call from my best friends husband. He asked if I was going to be there for a while because he needed to stop down to see me for something. After that came the worst phone call I’d gotten in my life(aside from calls that a family member passed away). It was from my best friend. When I said hello she screamed in my ear that the apartment house I lived in was on fire.

I ran thru the office to get my things and leave. I yelled to my supervisor what was happening and I was leaving. He told me to get the hell out of there and be safe while driving. While I was running thru the parking lot to my car, I was stopped by my best friends husband. He said he knew what going on and came to get me. He demanded that I get into get in the truck. He knew I drove normally(with a lead foot) and he was afraid of me getting into an accident driving like a psycho to get home. He was absolutely right.

When we approached the house all I could see was thick smoke billowing thru the neighborhood. Because of the barricades, we couldn’t get very close. I flew out of the truck and ran the length of about 2 or 3 city blocks until I was recognized as a tenant who lived there and I was grabbed by a couple of police officers. I needed to be restrained from going any closer. All I remember next was my screams, “My cats! My cats! I need to go in and get my babies!” I was finally released into my best friend’s arms. As we stood where we were allowed, we watched in horror as the flames and smoke billowed out of every window of my apartment. I wept more for my beloved pets than for any of my material possessions.

As my tears and a million different thoughts and feelings flooded the street along with water from the fire trucks, two firefighters came out of the house carrying something that looked pretty heavy. It was my steamer trunk with all, and I do mean ALL, of my pictures in it. Baby pictures, family pictures, high school pictures of my friends and even pictures of ex boyfriends with eyes blacked out and horns drawn on their heads(what can I say, I was very angry at a couple of them).

Miraculously, even tho my beloved animals, all of my clothes and 95% of the rest of my belongings perished, I had my pictures. I had my pictures, the clothes on my back, and one set of sheets that were on the clothesline. We were all lucky to have our lives even tho each one of us had our world was turned upside down and inside out.     

I have times when I still get a little emotional about the fire. I’ve even had a time or 2 when I could smell the smoke. Despite the heartache of that day, I have accepted that it was something my Higher Power felt I needed in my life. I needed to make a change in my life and this was the only way it would happen for me.

Since then I have risen from the ashes just like the Phoenix. Another blessing was that a friend in my life back then introduced me to the Rainbow Bridge to ease my heartache over the loss of my beloved pets. I have shared the Rainbow Bridge with others who’ve lost their furry kidz over the years.

Thought for the day: As I reflect on the bad events in had around this time 14yrs, 3yrs and a month ago I see where I have grown and how I’ve survived. I realize more and more how my Higher Power works in my life. As each year passes I mourn less and less for what was lost and instead celebrate the new path that has been laid out before me.

***Please be sure to read more of my posts

Are You A Doormat??

Written May 10, 2017 “If at anytime you feel like a doormat, put your foot down, pick that shit up, dust it off and put it away. You are beautiful, creative, unique, quirky, crazy, yet soft, caring, kind, loyal, compassionate and passionate. You are every positive adjective in the dictionary and then some. Don’t let anyone, and I mean ANYONE, EVER dull your smile, take away your sunshine or make you lose your sense of wonder. Be the real, authentic you that you can be!!” ~ Me

Boundaries and people pleasing. Something that many people struggle with. Either we want to please everyone and we can’t, or won’t, say no or we don’t give a fig about making others happy and we have no problem saying no. I wrote the above quote one time on social media for someone who was going thru some “stuff”.

Note: “You” stands anyone and no one in particular. This post is not about or pointed at anyone at all. I’m just sharing my experience for anyone who can relate to this.

I used to be the type of person who had a hard time saying no when when’s someone asks me for help. Some people call it pleasing while others say it’s a lack of having boundaries or enforcing the ones you do have. All I know is that if I could help “you” and it made “you” happy then it made me happy. Maybe I learned this in my early years of employment when I was told that the customer is always right. Maybe I learned in my earlier years while growing up. Who knows.

There were times that “you” didn’t acknowledge or appreciate that I helped “you”, what I did for “you”, or what I went thru to help “you”. This made me feel hurt, angry and eventually resentful. I tried to move heaven and earth to help “you” and other people who were struggling. I eventually realized what I was doing was to no avail and I felt used, hurt, stressed and I didn’t want to help anyone anymore. I realized that by helping “you” and feeling that “you” had taken me for granted made me unhappy and unhealthy. Before long I became resentful of “you” for not living up to my expectations. I also resented myself for expecting to much of “you”.

When I was at my lowest I began to look inward for the answers I sought. After a closer introspection of my motives(or reasons), a real, true and honest look, I realized it wasn’t all just to help “you”. It was because I felt worthless and useless inside for much of my life. I just wanted “you” to like and love me. The real question is this, how could “you” like or love me if I didn’t love, let alone like, myself? I had to look deeper and ask myself what I wanted out of life while building up my self esteem.

I never really had to many people in my life telling me it wasn’t my job to take care of everyone. It has taken me some time to just be able to say no. I have also never had anyone tell me to check my true and honest motives for why I did the things I was doing until recent years. Taking a compliment from anyone, like being told I looked good, was met with stuff like, “Oh this old thing? I got it from (enter inexpensive store here)”.

After some time, and some work on myself, I began to realize that I am all the positive words I mentioned above: beautiful, creative, unique, quirky, crazy, yet soft, caring, kind, loyal, compassionate, passionate and every positive adjective in the dictionary. I admit that some days are better than others, but I continue to work on myself. Some days it is definitely a challenge, but it’ll also be better in the long run.

Thought for the day: To change or avoid feeling like this, anger yourself these questions. 1) “Who am I aside from my name, 2) “What(or who) do I want(or not want) in my life today?” and finally 3) “What are the things I am most passionate about? “

***Please be sure to read more of my posts

Times Change

Written May 14, 2017

Has this ever happened to you? You are in a relationship with someone and for whatever reason it doesn’t work out.  You part ways with this person and don’t see or hear from them for quite some time. Years pass and the winds of change blow. Then one day, circumstances pave the way for the 2 of you to reconnect. You try to pick up where you left off but it doesn’t work. One of you is left with a broken heart.

I know that I can identify with this. I’ve had this happen at least a couple times in my life. I can also see that I’ve changed a lot in my lifetime. I’m not the same person that I was at 15, 25, 35, and even at 45 years old.  My views on life, my morals, values and principles have changed, along with what and who is important in my life. My physical body has changed considerably too.

In recent history this has happened to me twice. With one person, we had been friends for a number of years and had seen each other as just that – friends. We stumbled upon a time when we saw each other in a different light. Then, just as quick as it happened, it was over.

Next came someone I was friends with and had a brief relationship a number of years ago. Recently we toyed with the idea of rekindling the old flames. For whatever reason, that relationship didn’t work out either.

And one other relationship I had with someone for most of my life may be pretty on the outside but is very, very ugly on the inside. No matter how many times or things I tried to make things right with this person, it was never enough. For my own peace of mind I had to end whatever was left of that relationship.

I’ve come to understand more that humans grow and learn more and more as we go thru the stages of life. Other people and circumstances continuously mold and shape us over time. So that best friend you had in school but hadn’t seen in a number of years has changed on some level. That old friend may even be a person you don’t even recognize now. Today, perhaps that person wouldn’t be your best friend but they may be just a friend. Maybe you couldn’t stand that person today.

The same thing is true of our romantic relationships. Only now, besides our behaviors and attitudes changing, quite often our bodies change too. This is especially true as the years go by. That muscular boy with the 6 pack abs you knew in high school or college might have sagging muscles, a bit of a belly and a receding hair line 10 or 20 years later. Maybe that pretty girl with the perfect body, hair and beautiful face might be a few pounds heavier with grey hair and wrinkles. Or maybe that healthy boy or girl you knew now has some sort of a condition, illness, or disease that may or may not be curable.

If we really and truly want to reconnect with that person we haven’t seen in a long time, we need to look at how that person is today. We need to ask ourselves if we can embrace this person for who they are and how they look today. While that may sound superficial, it’s not especially if you combine those outer looks with the inner looks. It actually all boils down to love. Can we love this person for who they are today, grey hair, wrinkles, a few extra pounds, warts and all? Is this person compassionate, loyal and loving? If the answer is yes then we have a foundation to rebuild that friendship or relationship.

A day like today brings all those memories back. Memories of my childhood with my friends and my family and all the fun things we did together. Memories of my young adult days and all the hell my BFF and I caused along with our excursions. Memories of my marriage and the good times we had. And of course all the people who’ve come and gone in my life and the events or excursions I’ve enjoyed.  

Thought for the day: Something I stumbled on that I wrote last year in regard to change and memories which is very true…

  • Tho the good memories come rushing back with a song, a picture, an unpacked item, etc. They are quickly replaced with newer memories. Memories that either replace the good with a whole lotta heartbreak or vice versa. Yea, whatever happens is for the best. Yea, the bad is gonna get better. And yea, there are going to be times when I feel anger, rage, and hurt. I, however, come from a line of VERY strong women, I WILL PREVAIL over this!!

***Please be sure to read my other posts.

Overzealous Integrity

Written May 11, 2017

“Blessed are those who keep justice. Blessed is one who does what is right at all times” ~ Psalm 106:3(World English Bible version)

I recently learned a lesson and the place I learned this lesson is where I saw this quote. Well a slightly varied version of it actually. For those who didn’t know, I am a caregiver by nature. But the way I care for others has changed a bit. It’s not so much hands on care as its more helping to heal the insides, or the thoughts and feelings, of others in my community. Thanks to social media and a dear departed friend, that same care is spread around the world. There are times tho, that I get a little over zealous, like this time.

Not long ago I got a phone call on a helpline that I’ve been blessed to answer for some time now. One day a woman called and explained to me that she was desperate for help. As she told me her story and how awful she felt, I reassured her that she wasn’t as bad as she thought she was. I also told her I was proud of her for calling and that she was doing the right thing by calling. I said I would do what I could to help her.

A couple days later I picked her up and brought her to meet a couple of friends who could offer much of the same help, if not more than I could.

A couple of days after that, I’d gotten another call from this woman only this time she needed help to get food for her and her 2 children. After telling her of the resources in town I discovered she needed a ride. Since I was the only person she knew, I offered to give her a ride.

While on my way to get her and our ride to the facility, I remembered that a pastor worked there. I thought it’d be nice if the pastor came and said a prayer with this woman. There was one problem. I never asked the woman if she wanted to pray with the pastor.

When we got there, I thought I was discreet when I asked to speak to the pastor but I wasn’t. Also I’d given the person I spoke to some information about help that’s available to others in the community that probably visited this facility. The problem was that this woman didn’t want the facility to think she was associated with the help that’s available. All of this upset the woman I was helping and she let me know it.

While she was with others at this facility, I waited in another room. As I was waiting, I was beating myself up thinking, “How stupid could I be?! Now she’ll never ask for help again!” Just then I saw the above quote on the wall. The first word that came to mind was integrity, doing the right thing for the right reason. I began to feel a little better. I realize that even tho I acted impulsively and my actions caused her to feel disrespected, my heart was in the right place.

On the ride home, she in no uncertain terms told me how she felt. I calmly tried to apologize and explain that I understood my actions were wrong, but my intentions were pure. I told her I was only trying to help her get thru her stressful time. When I dropped her off I didn’t expect to hear from her again. Thankfully she did contact me the following day and with calmer heads we worked it out.

In this hectic and chaotic world we live in, many of us try to help others around us and this is good. However sometimes we act impulsively and don’t think think before we help. Maybe we do it because we’d appreciate someone doing it for us. We also think it’s the right thing to do, but the person we are helping doesn’t see it that way. We need to be mindful of how the person we’re helping feels. We need to be mindful that what we perceive as help can actually be perceived as meddling and overstepping another person’s boundaries. Whatever we do to help, we need to be sure we’re doing the right thing for the right reasons, not because it’s how we’d want to be helped.

Thought for the day: When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. ~ Rumi

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